I’ll start with a running joke I have with family, friends, and colleagues. I enjoy occasionally declaring that I have the world’s perfect hair, which gives others pause due to my near complete baldness. My assertion usually earns a skeptical look or chuckle. I am not kidding, though.
Once I have their attention, I jump right in with a cheerful inventory of the benefits of having little to no hair: with so little up top, you can cut it yourself (saving money); it never gets mussed (no worries about windy days, swimming, hats, or putting on vestments if you are ordained); it dries right away (no need for a blow dryer); it never has to be brushed or combed; and there’s no need for hair spray or gel. What a wonderful situation!
My hair began thinning in my mid-20s, but it never bothered me. Not once. I shrug my shoulders at it, enjoy the savings of money and time, and I’m happy with the way our loving Lord, in His wisdom, made me. I enjoy being who I am.
That is a key point that leads to something I urge all people to take into their minds and hearts: We are all children of God, made in His image, all of us loved by Him equally no matter what we look like or who we are. That is essential to our being. We are called by God to love ourselves for who He created us to be. “Then God said: Let us make human beings in our image, after our likeness … Male and female he created them (Gn 1:26-27).”
Each of us is unique, yet each of us and who and what we are, is also a reflection of our loving Lord. We are the achievement of His creative action. Each of us is born with an inherent dignity through our creation by God. It is vital that all of us hold onto that dignity no matter where life takes us or what it throws our way in this all-too challenging and often painful world in which we live.
Understanding this means that it is vital that we be comfortable with our being, the way God created us. We are to treat ourselves and our bodies with the complete respect. That is why St. Paul wrote, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? (1 Cor 6:19).”
Love of ourselves means we are not meant to alter our bodies radically to fit a self-perception or externally imposed perception of who we are that is based on our or others’ desires. A prevailing perception in today’s social world is that if we do not like the way we are made, we can completely change that and be remade according to our own perceived vision of self rather than God’s vision for us.
Love of ourselves means that even when we recognize our frailties and imperfections, we trust that God rejoices in who we are and that we can strive to do the same, that we can be humble enough to also rejoice in how God shaped our bodies. It means that we can develop the confidence to disregard societal dictates about what we should look like. Thus, I need not worry that I no longer have a full head of brown hair, no matter what the ads on TV proclaim.
Love of ourselves also means taking good care of ourselves, answering the call to care for God’s creative action. Living a healthy lifestyle is a wonderful way to thank God for His gift of life to us. Changes that lead to a healthier lifestyle are good. If someone’s cardiologist instructs him or her to eat healthier food – and a little less food – and get more exercise, he or she is honoring God.
There are a couple things to make clear, though, as we reflect upon this topic. First, there are times in life when significant surgery or other medical treatment might be needed for healing and a return from illness to health. When I was diagnosed with cancer 11 years ago, I underwent major surgery that left scars and took a long time for recovery. Those procedures led to a cure of my cancer. That was a proper way to take care of the body God gave me and led to a return to good health. Surgeries like that are good in the eyes of the Lord.
Also, love of ourselves does not mean we have the right to be narcissistic and prideful. Being who we are means being humble about it. Being humble enables us to see more clearly the inherent dignity not just of ourselves but of others as unique and wonderful products of God’s loving creative action. Humble love of ourselves mean we grant the same respect for others that we have fostered within ourselves.
Love of ourselves means that we trust God’s love for us and all others and trust His creation of all people. It means that we will love ourselves and others humbly out of love and honor for Him.