Last night a little one hopped onto my bed as I took a late-night phone meeting. She waited patiently because she needed to talk with me. Quietly she whispered that her heart was hurting and that she needed my help. I nodded, tucked her in close and continued my call, every so often tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
When the call was finished, I gave my attention to her and listened as she shared an interaction she had with some children. Words had been said that aren’t used in our home, and she was upset by it. Her sensitive heart is a treasure but needs a tender touch.
In some ways, I am grateful for these glimpses of the world we live in. It pains me, but I am reminded of the importance of having one foot in heaven and one foot on earth to be that witness of love without judgment. Being a mother who believes firmly that every moment is a teachable moment, either in words or by example, I gathered my thoughts for a lesson.
Realizing that we live in a fallen world and that everyone has different standards, I first took out my devotional. That morning I had read about putting on a shield of faith. We talked about what shields can do, how they can protect us.
Shields also have an emblem on them or a coat of arms defining whom the user serves. A shield of faith can protect us from the attacks of the world against our identity as Christians. But first we must place some flags in the sand to mark where we stand.
I asked my little one if she had set her standards. She knew our family’s standards, but had she set her own? How do we decide who and what we allow into our lives? What were her absolutes? What do we do when something makes us uncomfortable? If someone is speaking poorly of someone? Is that a “stop” sign or a “proceed with caution”? What about bullying, language and impurity? We must be prepared to be met with these foes and have a ready response. We must teach these lessons from an early age and revisit and reinforce them as our children grow.
When they are young, I love the Scripture from Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
It is good to keep our focus on these things, to seek them in ourselves and in others.
It is in Ephesians where we hear St. Paul remind us that we are to “take up a shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” And oh, can he throw arrows!
My days are filled with arrows of temptation to sway from the task at hand. I am easily distracted. I can be short fused. I am often tired. The negative self-talk and the judgment of others to validate my own actions all seek to separate me from the peace and love that Christ is constantly offering.
I love parenting. I love the sanctity it offers. I love the parallels and reminders it gives me for my own life as I am reminded to revisit the very things that I am teaching my children. Where am I placing my stop signs of life? Do they need to be moved? Closer? Further? How am I coping with the flaming arrows being shot my way? Do I allow worry and stress to steal my joy, or do I stand firm in the knowledge of who I am and whose I am?
The lesson I am teaching to my daughter is to use that shield of faith given to her at her baptism, fortified by the sacraments, and guard her heart. Pray for those who throw arrows. Stand firm in what you know is good, true, beautiful and pure, but also form for yourself a heart of compassion and let the light of Christ within you shine so that others will be drawn to the heart of Jesus through you.