Dear Father: It’s happened more times than I care to count that when I go to confession, the priest doesn’t say the prayer that I see in the Catechism. This is bothering me. I know other people who have had the same experience. Is it OK for the priest to make up prayers in confession? – A.C.
Dear A.C.: I’m very sorry for your experience in the confessional.
I’m presuming that when you speak about the priest’s prayer in the confessional that you find in the Catechism, you are referring to the words of absolution in paragraph No. 1449.
The only proper formula of absolution is “God, the Father of mercies, through the death and the resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and poured out the Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of sins ; through the ministry of the Church may God grant you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” The penitent then responds: Amen.
There are three elements in the sacrament of penance (reconciliation): confession of sins by the penitent, the prayer of absolution by the priest and the satisfaction (the penance that the priest assigns).
Every penitent is bound to confess all mortal sins according to species (what the sin was) and number of times it was committed. For instance, it is not enough to say that one has disobeyed one of the Ten Commandments. It is necessary to state simply (without lots of explanation) the sin, for example, “I stole $100 on three different occasions.”
Then the priest, perhaps after giving counsel, will ask the penitent to undertake a penance as a sign of reparation and repentance.
Then the priest will pray the words of absolution. The words in bold above are the essential form of the absolution. The entire prayer is to be prayed by the priest with his right hand raised (in blessing) over the penitent. However, in case of emergency, as when someone is near death, the priest may pray only the essential form. Never is it permitted for the priest to make up or change the words of absolution in any way whatsoever.
Sometimes a priest may add an extra prayer after the absolution for the comfort or healing of the penitent who has presented some particular situation or problem. This is not called for in the rite.
First and most important, the Church, and no one else, not even a priest, determines the actions and words of all the sacraments. This is because the Church wants to make it possible for everyone to go to heaven by using the means that Christ Himself instituted: the sacraments.
The sacraments are strictly safeguarded to make sure that they may be the divine instruments of salvation. Just as the U.S. Constitution is protected, so, too, are the sacraments.
Penance was instituted particularly for the absolution of mortal sins, that is, sins that deal with a grave matter, full knowledge and full consent of the will of a human person. It is necessary to confess and be absolved of mortal sins before one receives Holy Communion.
The problem with a priest not giving the Church’s absolution is that the priest is depriving the penitent of sacramental grace. Sacramental grace in the case of penance is the grace to restore the sinner to union with God and to give the divine helps needed to overcome future sins and to deepen in love of God.
A priest who refuses to give the Church’s absolution (rather than his own made-up words) presumes to take the place of the Church. He acts like a father who starves his children rather than feeding them nourishing meals.
At his ordination, every priest makes a series of binding promises. One of those promises is “to celebrate the mysteries of Christ reverently and faithfully according to the tradition of the Church, especially in the Sacrifice of the Eucharist and the Sacrament of Reconciliation (aka confession or penance), for the praise of God and the sanctification of the Christian people.” (Emphasis added.)
It is the right of everyone to receive the sacraments as the Church intends and not to be deprived of them.
As a priest, I know that priests are often very busy men. But the most important thing a priest does on any given day is to administer the sacraments reverently and faithfully.
Only a few sentences are absolutely required in any given sacrament for its validity. It’s not a complicated matter that needs to be revised each day. Even if a priest forgets the words of any sacramental form, ritual books are available to help him.
It’s difficult to do, but if a priest fails to give the proper absolution, and you are quite sure that you did not simply misunderstand him, then it would be right to ask him for the proper absolution.