The expression that someone has “lost the battle but won the war” means that, although that person was defeated in a small conflict, he or she won a larger one.
Such was the experience of St. Ignatius of Loyola (feast day July 31). He was soundly defeated at Pamplona, Spain. He had to be carried for two excruciating weeks over mountainous terrain to reach Loyola, his ancestral Spanish home.
While recovering from wounds received at Pamplona, he had a “conversion” experience while reading the Life of Christ and the Book of the Saints.
You can visit the room where it happened, called the Chapel of the Conversion in Loyola. That name is a misnomer, however. Ignatius’ conversion began there, but it did not end there.
Like Ignatius, many of us might pinpoint the moment when we started our journey of conversion. But, as Catholics, we also know that the conversion process is a series of moments – advances and setbacks – that lasts a lifetime.
That was true for Ignatius. He had resolved in his sickbed to serve his earthly king no more and to follow the King of Kings. So, he set out to rival the greatest saints through extreme prayer and fasting, nearly killing himself in the process.
Eventually, Ignatius went to Manresa, a small town on the River Cardoner near Barcelona. It was there that he thought he had reached the end of his rope. He was so distraught from the lack of progress in his new life that he contemplated suicide.
That was when he gave up his will to a higher power. He told God, in effect: “I have done all I can. I’m handing it over to you, to do with it what you will.” And that’s when things started to change. At Pamplona, he had refused to surrender and lost the battle. At Manresa, he surrendered and started winning the war.
We have many examples of saints and others living strong Gospel lives in service to others. Like Ignatius, we can be so focused on emulating our faith heroes that we forget their conversions were based on their lives and their circumstances, not ours.
We are on our own faith journeys. Our ongoing conversions are as different as we are. We have our own battles to lose to win the war.
I pray that we can lose the battles we need to lose while focusing on winning the ultimate war – living graced, Gospel lives serving others.