It is the desire of every parent for their children to learn from their successes and mistakes. There is a wisdom born of living a rich and full life that equips us with many lessons, and we attempt to impart this wisdom over years of parenting. Yet, often the legacy we leave is simply the life we have led. Nowhere is this legacy shown more clearly than in the vocation of marriage.
Recently, my husband and I had the privilege of finishing a book study for Honor Thy Wife: A 31-Day Spiritual Journey of Marital Renewal, written by Columbus native and author Kevin Lowry. When I placed this book on the table in front of my husband, he raised his eyebrows — perhaps wondering if this was a gentle suggestion or a firm mandate! The truth is, even for veteran couples, there is a great deal of wisdom to glean from this vulnerable glimpse into the role as husband and father.
Lowry, the Diocese of Columbus’ chief financial officer who is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville and has been married for more than 35 years, has spent much of that time learning how to love, honor and cherish his wife. The father of eight candidly admits he has made his fair share of marital mistakes. Yet with wit and humility, he guides readers through a month-long journey, sharing stories drawn from his own experience — stories that not only reveal the moral but offer concrete action items to help husbands renew their wedding vow to honor their wives.
Each chapter of Honor Thy Wife begins with a verse from Scripture and a personal reflection — sometimes a funny anecdote, sometimes a tender lesson learned through trial. Lowry makes it clear: “It’s not an academic work. Rather, I tell a few stories — often of things I’ve done wrong — and provide concrete challenges and ways of thinking that can help all of us to improve. Including me.”
What struck me most about this book was its simplicity and practicality. My husband and I spent our morning coffee time going through each day’s reflection together, then texted one or two thoughts back and forth throughout the day. Topics such as “Speak About Her with Honor at Work” and “Compliment and Complement Her” were not only good reminders but meaningful invitations to take stock of our own marriage.
In one particularly moving chapter, he shares how his wife, who is not an effusive, words-of-affirmation kind of woman, encouraged him to finish this book: “You need to finish writing this and get it published.” It was, he says, an incredible compliment and the motivation he needed to move forward.
Father Dave Pivonka, TOR, president of Franciscan University of Steubenville, called Honor Thy Wife “both inspiring and relatable.” Michael Hernon from the Messy Family Project describes it as “the perfect book for a busy guy who wants to be a better husband,” and Father John Riccardo, EWTN radio host and founder of the ACTS XXIX apostolate, simply says, “Please read this and give it to every married man you know!”
Though the book was written with Lowry’s sons in mind — a timeless memoir to inspire them toward greatness in their own marriages — it is equally a gift for all of us striving to grow in charity and humility. For any couple, whether newly married or seasoned veterans, this devotional can serve as a yearly renewal in the month leading up to an anniversary or as a touchstone to return to again and again.
This book is a gentle, grace-filled companion that reminds us why married couples said “I do” — and inspires us to keep saying it every day.
Honor Thy Wife is Lowry’s third book. It is available in a 142-page paperback ($14.95) or Kindle edition ($5.99). You can find it on Amazon or order directly from Catholic Treehouse at www.catholictreehouse.com.
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