A beautiful surrender comes with being a mother. The joy of motherhood stems from that freedom.
Motherhood is a challenging vocation that requires so much physically, mentally and spiritually. Physically, we carry our babies in our wombs and/or deeply within our hearts. Mentally, being a mother requires an organizational balance rivaling any executive position I know. Spiritually, mothers are stretched beyond our comprehension as parenting’s trials and graces mold and form us into who we were created to be.
It is an arduous process, but moments along the journey allow us to stop and smell the roses, to reflect on how we have gotten to where we are and whom we have become.
I am the mother of eight intelligent and creative children. My third son, Gabriel, was born with a neuromuscular condition called arthrogryposis multiplex congenita that severely limited his ability to use his limbs. It was a pivotal moment for my husband and me as parents.
As incapable as I felt to be this child’s mother, there is a profound realization of the gift and the trust the Lord offers when gifted with a child, any child. This child, created by the Creator of heaven and earth, is being entrusted to me. What trust He must have in me! What a vision He must have for my life!
Much like Mother Mary, who must have had her own reservations but gave her fiat so boldly, so did I. We gave our fiat again when asked to adopt our daughter Elizabeth from the Missionaries of Charity in Armenia. This spunky, joy-filled girl had the same condition as our son and needed a family.
We had seen the provision of the Lord and the protection of Our Lady around our family over the first four years of our marriage. We noticed the new strength in one another. We ventured forward in trust and have been rewarded a hundredfold with grace upon grace, forming us into who we are today.
As a mom of many children, I often hear, “I don’t know how you do it all.” The quick answer, of course, is that I do not do it all. But the more vulnerable and honest answer is that I continually surrender my children to Mother Mary.
Not having grown up in a close motherly relationship, I quickly found comfort in the knowledge that I have a momma in heaven. As others might call their mother on the phone to share frustrations or joys, I sit on my knees by my bed and weep in frustration when things are challenging, when I am not my best, when I need help. I talk openly with Mother Mary throughout my day, throwing up little nuggets of conversation and moments of joy and laughter.
I call up the stairs for a child, and when I am not answered as swiftly as I prefer, I have taught myself to pray a Hail Mary asking for Mama’s patience. Inevitably, they come down before I am finished. She loves interceding for us. She loves her children so much.
As a mother of older children, I have often felt helpless when I see the temptations my teens and young adults face. But there are no diapers to change. No little ones who need me to tuck them into bed. Instead, my doing is found in prayer. The realization that Mama can go where I cannot go gives me great solace. I entrust my children to her maternal care. In doing so, I am formed more closely to her heart.
One of the most beautiful prayers I have been taught was when I was adopting Elizabeth. I was frustrated with the timing. It was taking too long, and I wanted my daughter in my arms.
One of the Missionaries of Charity, Sister JoseAnn, shared this prayer: “Mary, be a mother to me and …” Repeatedly, on every breath as I went about my days, I surrendered and asked Mary to intercede. “Mary, be a mother to me and finalize this adoption.”
This prayer stays with me now in late evenings. “Mary, be a mother to me and stay close to that child of mine.” “Mary, be a mother to me and help me speak the right words.” The freedom of offering our children and our vocation to Mother Mary opens us to receive her graces. “Mary, be a mother to us all, and help us lead our children to your precious son.”
MaryBeth Eberhard writes about marriage, life experiences of a large family and special needs. She attends Sunbury St. John Neumann Church.