John and Marise Petry say having a strong sense of humor is one of the things responsible for the success of their marriage after 50 years. That was obvious as soon as the couple answered the door when a “Catholic Times” reporter came to their house. John was wearing a T-shirt with a caricature of the couple and the words “annoying each other for 50 years and still strong.” Marise has a matching shirt.
The Petrys said they had the shirts made because they express their sense of humor and often lead to conversations with people they meet.
The couple had a 50th anniversary party following a ceremony at which they recommitted themselves to God and each other during a Mass on Sunday, June 12 at New Albany Church of the Resurrection, which the couple attend.
Celebrants for the Mass were Father Jerome Rodenfels, the parish’s former pastor, and Father Thomas Petry, John’s brother. The Petrys and other couples from the diocese who are celebrating milestone anniversaries this year will be attending the diocesan Jubilee of Anniversaries at 2:30 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 25 in Dublin St. Brigid of Kildare Church, 7179 Avery Road.
John Petry and Marise Robinson exchanged marriage vows on June 10, 1972 at Portsmouth St. Mary Church with Father Michael Reis as the clergy witness.
The couple have two sons – Jason, 49, and Aaron, 45, and a daughter, Martha Nicodemus, 40. John was an Ohio State University (OSU) police officer for 39 years and was OSU’s police chief for the last 18 months of that period. He retired on June 1, 2005. Marise has been a voice and piano teacher for 56 years, beginning in high school. She has about 30 students ranging in age from 7 to 85.
John went to Portsmouth St. Mary School, Portsmouth Notre Dame High School and Ohio University (OU)-Portsmouth. Marise, a graduate of Liberty Union High School in Baltimore, Ohio, met John at OU-Portsmouth, but the couple didn’t start dating until after both had transferred to OU’s main campus in Athens.
“During our first week in Athens, a mutual friend had a get-together,” John said. “We saw each other there, and the next thing you know, we had talked the night away. We started dating and kept going, and here we are still talking 50 years later.”
John grew up in a strong Catholic family that includes Father Thomas Petry, pastor of Columbus St. Anthony Church, and Father James Petry, a Columbus diocesan priest who died in Wyoming in 1982 when his car went off the road and he drowned in a creek.
Marise grew up as a member of the United Church of Christ and became interested through John in becoming a Catholic. “I wanted us both to belong to the same church,” she said. “One weekend when John was visiting, the minister at our church made some very derogatory remarks about Catholics, so I knew I was not going to stay in the denomination I was in.
“Also, I had been going to Masses at the Newman Center at OU and wanted to partake of the Eucharist. The current RCIA process for entering the Church didn’t exist then. Instead, Father Reis handed me a book and asked me to study it. We had three sessions together, with him explaining some of what was in the book and asking me if I had any questions, and that was the extent of my formal training before joining the Church at a weekday Mass in August 1972.
“There still were a lot of things I didn’t understand about the faith, but I got a lot of help from John’s brother Tom and from Father Art Dimond, Father Ed Keck and Msgr. Mario Serraglio, who were serving at parishes in Lancaster, where John was on the police force before coming to OSU.”
The Petrys said a Marriage Encounter weekend retreat at St. Therese’s Retreat Center in Columbus was a significant moment in their married lives. “We began some real solid dialogue with each other, and we eventually began presenting with Father Pete Gideon as the spiritual adviser and our dear friend Father Loren Connell, then became the lead Marriage Encounter couple for the diocese for several years,” John said.
“We had to cut back when John’s mother moved in with us because she had Alzheimer’s disease, but we continued with the pre-Cana program at Resurrection and still do parish and diocesan pre-Cana programs, which last one day. We also serve as mentor couples in our parish, which means we sit down with engaged couples for four or five sessions and talk to them about what they are anticipating and what to expect from married life.”
John and Marise both have been Parish Council members at Resurrection. John was part of the RCIA program, anMarise remains involved with it. John also is a sacristan at the 11 a.m. Sunday Mass.
“All this ‘marriage stuff’ has made our own marriage more solid,” Marise said. “Many times we say, ‘We’ve got this thing (a marriage preparation event) coming up, so we’d better get our act together and figure if there’s anything we need to straighten up.’ Going to Mass every Sunday is also very important to us. If there’s a situation where one of us can make it and the other can’t, it doesn’t seem right.”
She said Resurrection is an ideal parish for someone new looking for a ministry with which to become involved. “The church has around 50 ministries, and if you’re looking for something that isn’t there, Father Denis (Kigozi, the parish’s pastor) will be happy to help you get it started. It’s so important that the laity get together beyond Mass.”
“It’s the most hospitable church I’ve ever been to,” John said. “Our welcome desk is right in the center where you come in at the main entrance. We want visitors and new parishioners to stop by there every week to learn how they can contribute to our parish.”
The Petrys have talked about all aspects of marriage during their ministry. John says, “We tell people we will give any talk except communications, because that’s something we don’t do well.” That last remark was said facetiously, with the couple then talking back and forth about how confused communication helped lead to the purchases of their first home in Lancaster and the home in Reynoldsburg where they have lived for 36 years.
“We have this dinky little kitchen, and Marise has wanted a new kitchen for 36 years,” John said, “We almost got the job started a couple of times, but once there was a family member who needed help, and another time, a new roof took priority over a new kitchen. Now I think I’m ready,” John said.
“I’m not getting my hopes up,” Marise responded.
“She can read my mind,” John said of Marise. “She knows whether I’m having a good day or a bad day without me saying a word. In spite of what I said about communication, we’ve learned to communicate better with each other through the help Marriage Encounter provided.
“Sometimes it’s best not to try to change the other person. There’s the old story of whether you prefer to squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube or the top. Each of us has our own preference, so we buy two tubes, and everyone’s satisfied.”
“Compromise, communication and a sense of humor all are important throughout marriage,” Marise said. “If you can’t have fun being married, why be together?”
“She (Marise) makes every day an adventure,” John said. “We have people from Nepal living next door, and one day, the city shut their water off. They couldn’t speak English and didn’t realize the city had sent them a notice ordering them to pay their bills. Marise said, ‘John will help you,’ so I tried the best I could to negotiate between them and the water office. Despite the language barrier, we managed to solve the problem, but I needed to be there when the water people came.
“The same thing happened recently with a Hispanic couple living down the street. We’ve invited our neighbors to come to us when they need help, and we’ll try to do whatever we can. It’s a way of being missionary disciples and performing the corporal works of mercy in a practical way.
“Another neighbor is 80 years old and lives by herself,” John said. “She comes to our house to watch (Cleveland) Guardians games and told us once, ‘I prayed to God to send me a friend, and He did.’ I hear something like that, and I forget all about my own preference to watch the (Cincinnati) Reds.”