For Pat and Julie McCauley, 50 years flew by. It seemed as if July 20, 1974, their wedding date, was recently – not five decades ago.
The McCauleys are one of many diocesan couples celebrating a marriage jubilee year. The diocese recognized couples celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and any five-year anniversary thereafter during a Mass at Columbus St. Joseph Cathedral on Sept. 7.
Reflecting on their own 50 years of marriage, family and faith were two constants that brought the McCauleys joy and were their anchors in life’s difficult seasons.
The couple reside in Lancaster and are members of nearby Lancaster Basilica of St. Mary of the Assumption. They married at the basilica – then St. Mary Church – and have spent much of their lives in the city located near Ohio’s Hocking Hills.
Pat, one of six children, and Julie, who has an older and a younger brother, got to know each other well through their siblings, who were in school together at Lancaster St. Mary and Bishop Fenwick High School, now William V. Fisher Catholic High School. They ran in the same crowd.
The McCauleys were first introduced by Julie’s older brother, Bob, a friend of Pat’s. Bob and Pat had planned to see a drive-in movie, Pat recalled, and Bob brought his sister along. The two got to know each other better through siblings and friends, and they eventually began dating.
Pat remembered calling up Julie at her family’s home. While he formerly called for Bob, perhaps to her mother’s surprise, Pat was now calling for Julie.
“She got to know my voice, and she’s, ‘Just a minute, Pat. I’ll get Bob,’ so it got to the point where she wanted to know, who do you want, Bob or Julie?” he recalled. “That’d be kind of a joke there for a while.”
All jokes aside, Pat was beginning to realize Julie was the woman he wanted to marry.
“I just knew, over a period of time, that this is the lady I wanted,” he said.
While dating, the two enjoyed spending time with their respective families.
Pat, born in Lancaster, spent his childhood traveling around the country and Europe while his father served in the military. He had just graduated from high school in Seattle when his father retired. The family moved back to Lancaster to be near grandparents and extended family.
Julie was born in Urbana, Ohio. Her parents relocated to Lancaster before she was a year old.
Each family hosted a big Sunday dinner in their Lancaster homes. They tried to attend both family dinners each week, but after a while, Pat recalled, “Boy, that got to be just eating too much.”
For Julie, she began to realize how much she missed Pat when they were apart.
“I went away one weekend with my mother,” she recalled. “We went down to visit a brother of hers who was a priest in a Kentucky diocese. I didn’t see (Pat) for several days. That’s the longest I had gone without seeing him for a while. I thought, well, I really miss him.”
The two dated for three years before marrying.
Their marriage brought many joys – most notably that of their two children, and now, a son- and daughter-in-law and six grandchildren.
The McCauleys were married for almost 10 years before their eldest was born. They endured the difficulty of numerous doctor visits as they longed for a child.
Pat recalled the doctor’s words, which seemed to bring dismay.
“He got us together and said, ‘Pat and Julie, I’ve done everything I can. … Come back and see me in six months if you want to start all over again. We can,’ he said, ‘but right now, we’re done. There’s nothing more I can do.’
“Two months later, she’s pregnant.”
They were blessed by the birth of their son, Brian. A few years later, Julie was pregnant with their second, a daughter, Erin.
While most of their 50 years were spent in Lancaster, a job opportunity for Pat brought them to Washington Court House for 10 years, where they were parishioners at Washington Court House St. Colman of Cloyne Church.
When they returned to Lancaster in the ‘80s, Pat worked at his father-in-law’s Oldsmobile dealership in town.
He later worked at the Taylor Chevrolet in Lancaster, now owned by Hugh White, for much of his career. He retired about four years ago but continues to work at the dealership a couple of days a week.
“We were glad to get back because, Washington Court House, that’s about a third of the size of Lancaster and no Catholic school. Where, here, we have a Catholic preschool, grade school and high school, and we both went to parochial schools, so we knew we wanted the kids to go there also,” Julie said.
Both children attended Lancaster St. Mary School and Fisher Catholic High School.
When they were young, Julie stayed home with the children. She had worked in retail full time until they were born.
She eventually returned part time during the Christmas season at the mall in Lancaster. She picked up more hours as the children grew older and were in school.
Both children live in Lancaster today with their families. Brian and wife Gina have a son, and Erin and husband Kyle have five children.
Having their children and grandchildren nearby is a blessing.
In April 2022, Brian was diagnosed with brain cancer. While he continues battling cancer, the McCauleys reported that Brian is stable, and there are currently no new signs of growth.
The diagnosis came as a shock to them.
“When we first heard what was going on, it was very hard to take, very hard to accept,” Pat shared.
They have taken up the cross by looking to their son and seeing how he does.
“He’s so strong, and his faith is so strong, and, ‘This is what God’s plan is for me,’ and he’s accepted everything and is trying to do what he can by praying for other people who have got issues,” Pat said. “When I see something like that, I can’t help but say, boy, if he can accept this and move on with it, then there’s no reason why I can’t either.”
The McCauleys said they are fortunate to receive numerous cards and prayers from individuals.
“The people we got cards from, letting us know that they were praying for Brian and they were praying for us, too, that was a big help,” Julie said. “We still periodically get cards, from especially one of the teachers that both kids had in school.”
Parish and school involvement runs deep in the McCauley family.
Both children and their families are active members of the Basilica of St. Mary of the Assumption. They serve on parish council, school board and as coaches. Brian was the parish’s director of faith formation.
Pat and Julie have been Eucharistic ministers at the parish for more than 30 years. Pat served on parish council, maintenance committee and school board at St. Mary and Fisher Catholic.
Pat’s aunts, uncles and grandparents attended St. Mary School. His mother served as the school’s librarian for about 10 years, and his uncle was named Alumni of the Year at St. Mary.
Pat and Julie’s love of family was something that they first admired about each other, and it continues to be their passion.
Julie and Pat McCauley are pictured with their six grandchildren in Lancaster.
They shared that they enjoy seeing their children and grandchildren often. Julie watches several of the grandchildren after school and the little ones who are not yet in school during the day.
They recognized the blessing of having the children and their families within a 10-minute drive.
“I talk to other grandparents now whose kids are grown and they’re gone, and they have grandchildren of their own, but they don’t get a chance to see them every so often,” Pat said.
“Well, when these guys take a week off and go back up to where Kyle’s from, boy, that’s a rough week. You’re lost – used to having them around you all the time.”
When thinking of advice for others, Julie encouraged couples not to rush into marriage.
“I think that too often happens,” she said. “Just take your time.”
“The big thing, too, is try to think of the other person: what they would want to do, what they would want and how they would want it done, and try to do things that way that keeps things happy,” Pat said.
He also encouraged couples to “keep talking” and “keep the line of communication open.”
They acknowledged that there will be disagreements, but couples can get through it, and maintaining communication helps.
“This has been a fast 50 years,” Julie said. “I’m glad we did it.”