Clarence and Barbara Smithberger said their marriage of 66 years didn’t result from instant attraction but from knowing each other for so long that friendship somehow turned to love.
“I don’t think either of us really know when we realized we loved each other. We just did,” Barbara said. They had known each other for years as Barbara Schell and “Smitty” (“nobody calls me Clarence,” he said) while growing up in the Noble County community of Fulda, where they went to the same school but didn’t have classes together because of a four-year age difference.
“Square dancing was still a big thing back then in our hometown and Smitty asked to take me home from a dance one night,” said Barbara, 85. “He just kept taking me home, we started becoming closer and things developed from there. We went to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve in 1958 when he was on leave from the Army. After Mass, he asked me to marry him and I said ‘Yes.’
“We were married on Oct. 31,1959 at Fulda Immaculate Conception Church with Father Andrew Hohman, my husband’s uncle, as the officiating priest. The Catholic Church has meant a lot to us, and it’s interesting that we became engaged on Christmas Eve and were married on the eve of All Saints Day.”
“Our honeymoon was in West Virginia, but it was so long ago that neither of us can remember where we went,” said Smitty, 89.
The Smithbergers are one of five couples from Pickerington St. Elizabeth Seton Parish married 60 years or longer who were among those honored at the diocesan Jubilee of Anniversaries on Saturday, Aug. 16. The other four are Emery and Marion Eck (64 years), William and Rose Wright (62 years), and Donald and Joanne Miller and David and Janet McVay (60 years).
Smitty and Barbara are charter members of both Seton Parish, established in 1979, and Reynoldsburg St. Pius X Church, which when it was established in 1959 included the area now covered by Seton.
After their marriage, the couple moved to the Reynoldsburg area because Smitty had a job as a tool and die maker at the former Western Electric plant on Columbus’ far east side, once the Columbus area’s largest employer, which made switchboards and telephones.
Barbara worked for a while at the Ohio Liquor Control Commission office in Columbus, then left so she could spend all of her time raising the couple’s three children – Lynn Tuskes, now 65, living in Chagrin Falls; Deborah Riley, 63, of the Philadelphia suburb of Downingtown; and Patrick, 57, of Marine City, Michigan, all graduates of St. Pius X School. The Smithbergers have four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
“Looking back, I don’t think there’s any question that the most difficult part of our marriage was when I was called to the Army for a second time,” Smitty said. “I know that was difficult for Barbara because she was left with two small children to raise and no husband to help. It also was hard for me because I wasn’t expecting to return to active duty and had to do it.”
Smitty served in the Army in 1957 and 1958 at Fort Knox, Kentucky, then became part of the inactive Army Reserve. He was called back to serve in 1962 and 1963 as an ammunition specialist because of the situation in Berlin at the time after the Berlin Wall was built. His second tour began at Fort Polk, Louisiana, before he was transferred to Fort Knox. “We replaced troops who were sent to Europe and we trained for that possibility, but I never had to go overseas,” he said.
“That time was a struggle, but we got through it,” Barbara said. “Really I’d say we haven’t had a lot of problems in our marriage. Back when we got married, people just knew they were going to stay together and they’d work out any issues. One good thing with us is that we had the same background and had seen each other for years before we started dating, so we had plenty of time to get acquainted.”
The Smithbergers went to the same public school in Fulda for 11 years before transferring to the high school in the Noble County seat of Caldwell to complete their education. “Because Fulda was a strong Catholic community, the teaching staff at the Fulda school included several Ursuline sisters, one of whom taught my mother. This wasn’t an issue with the school board,” Barbara said. “So we got a Catholic education in a public school. That wouldn’t work now.”
The couple said they were involved with several parish organizations while they were St. Pius X parishioners and continue attending Mass each Sunday at Seton, where Barbara is on the bereavement committee and distributes the Eucharist to the homebound.
Asked about challenges married couples face today that weren’t so prevalent 66 years ago, Barbara said, “It seems when they start today, they all have money. I’m not sure that’s such a good thing.”
Smitty added, “One big difference is the media and its effects on children. When we grew up, it was in the early days of TV. What I can remember most about that time was watching ‘I Love Lucy’ and Bishop Sheen. There’s a lot more now to be concerned about on TV. You have to keep an eye on what the children are watching there and on the computer screens we didn’t have.”
“One thing I can say about having the church be such a part of our lives is that it has made our marriage so much better,” Barbara said. “I’d tell any couple starting out that you can’t make marriage a 50-50 proposition.” Then both she and her husband said in unison, “It’s 90-10” – with the 90 percent referring to consideration for the person of the opposite sex.