In today’s culture, it takes courage for anyone dealing with same-sex attraction to follow Catholic Church teaching on human sexuality.
The Church is often ridiculed and mocked for its adherence to biblical principles regarding the unique qualities of man and woman assigned by God, the virtue of living chaste lives and the sanctity of marriage between a male and a female.
For individuals who find themselves same-sex attracted yet want to remain faithful Catholics, there’s a resource that might not be widely known but has proved helpful to thousands for more than 40 years.
Courage International ministry is an international apostolate founded in 1980 in the Archdiocese of New York and directed by Father John Harvey, OSFS, for 30 years with the intention to provide pastoral care and uphold clear Catholic teaching on chastity and homosexuality. In the past 43 years, Courage has expanded to more than 75 chapters worldwide.
In the Diocese of Columbus, Courage has existed for a number of years but has experienced a recent revival through efforts to make the availability of this resource more widely known.
Father William Ferguson, the parochial vicar at Delaware St. Mary Church, has served as the local chaplain of the Courage apostolate for the past two years, assuming that role from Father Pat Toner.
Last October, the local chapter went from being limited to individual spiritual direction to monthly group meetings. Over the past year, attendance has grown from four members to 11.
“Here in the diocese, we would like to keep expanding Courage and EnCourage (the support group for loved ones of same-sex-attracted persons),” Father Ferguson said.
“We are looking especially with Courage to start a college-age group because we realize that same-sex attraction is becoming an increasing concern and an issue with the college-age population, and so as a local Church we want to be responsive to that need.”
Because of the sensitivity surrounding the issue, local participants are understandably reluctant to share their experiences about Courage publicly.
But a Courage member identified as S.B. was willing to offer some thoughts, saying, “The Courage group is indispensable! The support offered when experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction is invaluable.
“Although support may be found in other places within the Church because of the nature of the issue, the level of intimacy and confidentiality needed for such support is very difficult to find. I would encourage anyone experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to reach out for the support a Courage group can provide.”
Men make up approximately two-thirds of the local group. The monthly meetings follow a format that includes prayer, spiritual reflection, a talk on a topic related to same-sex attraction (SSA), sharing and fellowship.
At each meeting, the following goals of Courage from the national apostolate are read:
• To live chaste lives in accordance with the Roman Catholic Church’s teaching on homosexuality.
• To dedicate our entire lives to Christ through service to others, spiritual reading, prayer, meditation, individual spiritual direction, frequent attendance at Mass and the frequent reception of the sacraments of reconciliation and Holy Eucharist.
• To foster a spirit of fellowship in which we may share with one another our thoughts and experiences and so ensure that no one will have to face the problems of homosexuality alone.
• To be mindful of the truth that chaste friendships are not only possible but necessary in a chaste Christian life; and to encourage one another in forming and sustaining these friendships.
• To live lives that may serve as good example to others.
Church teaching
“The main thing to be certain about is that God loves everyone, no matter what struggles or temptations we might face,” Father Ferguson emphasized. “That’s because we’re all made in God’s image and likeness, and we’re called by God to deeper spiritual growth and preparation for heaven.
“We are also created as a whole person, which means we’re a combination of soul and body. Not simply does our soul have significance, but also does our body. The Catholic Christian faith has always believed in the goodness and deeper meaning of the body.”
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (No. 2358) states that most persons in this situation do not choose this condition; it can be experienced as a confusing burden, and then adds that persons with SSA “are called to lives of chastity, which is a positive virtue that actually everyone is called to as a human person.”
“Chastity simply means relating to one’s own person – body and soul – and to other persons in a holy, authentic and pure way that respects the dignity of all involved,” Father Ferguson said. “This can take on different forms for different states in life.
“For example, a teenager is called to chastity by practicing how to interact with others in a way that respects their dignity, to begin to experience their sexual desires in a holy way as a sign of anticipating the deep union and beauty of heaven, and to save the positive sexual act for a possible future call to marriage so that it can be made a ‘gift’ to a spouse.
“A married couple is called to chastity precisely in the marital act by ensuring that the act is indeed one of total self ‘gift’ to the other, rather than one of merely ‘taking’ from the other.
“Likewise, a person with SSA is called to chastity by refraining from intimate sexual relations. Instead, they are called to relate to others in ways based on healthy chaste friendships along with directing their intimate desires in honest prayer to God as, again, a sign of anticipating an even deeper union with the divine to come one day in heaven.”
Father Ferguson stressed that merely experiencing internal same-sex attraction involves no sin in and of itself. “If you don’t ‘will’ a condition, there is no sin in having it. And you are not at all any less loved by God for having a challenging condition,” he said.
“But if someone were to act on those attractions and engage in active same-sex relationships with full knowledge and will, that would be a sinful thing, because it harms the ability of a person to grow in their positive holiness and likeness to God.
“Now, the power of same-sex attractions can be pretty strong, so that’s why authentic chastity is certainly not always going to be an easy path for someone with SSA. But that’s why we have the Courage ministry. It helps provide support to keep staying strong in growing in holiness and pursuing chastity.”
A person with SSA, though, does not have to face this challenge alone and should not “hide” from Jesus in shame, Father Ferguson said. The Catechism (No. 2358) says that Jesus is always there to help, and that He knows what it’s like to carry crosses and to be severely tempted.
When someone asks why active same-sex relationships should be avoided, Church teaching provides the answer.
“Intimate relations with someone of the same sex does not allow for a ‘total gift’ of whole persons,” Father Ferguson said. “While the souls might have feelings of union, the bodies involved logically cannot make a total ‘gift’; it is always going to be a ‘frustrated’ attempt at union.
“It can be tough for a person with SSA to stay holy, partly because much of the culture tells us that anyone with SSA should automatically get involved with the active lifestyle. But there is a healthier alternative.
“Contrary to what much of society says, ‘love’ and ‘sex’ are not the same thing. Of course, we all need love. But authentic love does not necessarily mean frequency of intercourse. True love among humans is a much deeper thing. It’s founded on mutual respect for each other’s dignity.
“That’s why one of Courage’s main goals is to help members to foster healthy, chaste friendships as fellow disciples so that they can experience authentic love that is not a sexual experience.”
Conversion?
To be clear, the goal of Courage is not to force someone to “convert” from a homosexual to a heterosexual lifestyle. Twenty-six states and more than 100 U.S. cities, including Columbus, have banned so-called conversion therapy for minors (counseling for same-sex-attracted youth seeking help in returning to their God-given sexual orientation).
“In Courage, we talk a lot about conversion, but conversion to Jesus Christ,” explained Father Kyle Schnippel, the acting interim director for Courage International and a priest in the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. “Part of that conversion is how we bring our brokenness to Him to allow Him to speak to us through those moments of brokenness.
“The longer I have worked with Courage, the more I appreciate the nuance and pastoral approach that is conveyed by the Catechism: ‘(Same sex attraction’s) psychological genesis remains largely unexplained.’ (No. 2357)
“The approach of Courage is, I think, straightforward and pastoral: We care that the person has this experience and want to walk along with him or her in this experience towards Jesus Christ. That’s the goal; whatever Jesus wants to do with this person’s experience of SSA is up to Him!”
Father Ferguson confirmed that the goal locally is not to make an individual pretend that he or she is heterosexual “but to help them know that in the midst of their attraction that they can still be chaste and have good, healthy friendships without getting involved with unhealthy exclusive and active relationships – that God loves them and wants to work through them in powerful ways as disciples.”
Adult members are free to pursue outside counseling from a therapist such as Mary Ann Jepsen, who has worked with impacted families and individuals in the Columbus diocese through her Covenant Integrative Counseling Services.
“It’s not like we’re targeting people with same-sex attraction and somehow in need of specialized attention because they’re somehow more evil than anybody else,” Father Ferguson said. “People might be struggling with other kinds of sexual issues, be it pornography or contraception or different heterosexual marital issues.
“We want to have everyone see the positive outlook of the truth of the human body and human desires and human sexuality.”
Theology of the Body
“St. John Paul II did a great job helping us to appreciate the positive meaning of the human body with his reflections called ‘The Theology of the Body,’” Father Ferguson said. “John Paul observed that the sexual difference of male and female is not happenstance; it allows a man and a woman to make of themselves a radical ‘gift’ to each other in marital love as whole persons – soul and body – in a way that images the even deeper total ‘gift’ of mutual love that describes the Persons of the Trinity – God!”
As a parish priest, Father Ferguson developed an interest in John Paul’s Theology of the Body to guide him in pastoral ministry as he dealt with parishioners’ questions about human sexuality, how to handle one’s desires in a healthy way and understand marital love in an authentic manner.
He discerned after a 30-day Ignatian retreat that he wanted to explore the topic in more depth and enrolled in the Theology of the Body certification program designed to equip clergy and laity with a deeper understanding of John Paul’s teaching on the human person.
Two years ago, former Columbus Bishop Robert Brennan asked Father Ferguson to take over the Courage and EnCourage chaplaincy from Father Toner, who had served in that role for many years.
“Father Toner did a great job, and I appreciate his work in both ministries,” Father Ferguson said. “And I really appreciate how the Catholic Church has proactively over the years seen a need to address the real pastoral issue of same-sex attraction.”
Confusion
Actions and comments from the Church in the past few years, particularly the German Bishops’ Conference, have indicated a softening of Church teaching on chastity and an openness to bless so-called same-sex unions. Media reports ahead of the Synod on Synodality next month in Rome have heightened speculation.
“Unfortunately, I think the lesson is that when we are unclear and/or imprecise in our language, it causes greater confusion and uncertainty among the faithful,” Father Schnippel said.
“I have had members express to me in the past that when the Holy Father meets with Father James Martin, SJ (an outspoken advocate for homosexuals in the Church), it causes our members anxiety and distress: ‘We are striving hard to live this life, and when the “other side” is seemingly endorsed what are we to make of that?’
“In our work with Courage, even just in serving as a pastor, we know that living the life that we are called to live leads to a fulfillment and grace that is not otherwise available. Holding up the beauty of a life well lived in accordance with Church teaching does not seem to be in vogue right now, but we know it is beautiful and the most fulfilling option.”
Resources
Courage International, which is based in Trumbull, Connecticut, provides a wealth of information for the same-sex attracted and their family members at www.couragerc.org.
The website includes details about the organization, programs, chat groups, events, resources and contact information. Local chapter contacts also can be found there.
The Diocese of Columbus’ Office of Marriage and Family Life provides listings for same-sex attraction and gender-identity support in the family healing section at www.columbuscatholic.org.
Father Ferguson can be reached at wferguson@columbuscatholic.org.