The three featured speakers seized upon the theme of the 28th annual Columbus Catholic Men’s Conference to implore nearly the 2,400 in attendance to live out their vocations.
The attendees from more than 80 parishes throughout the diocese and beyond were encouraged during the conference on Saturday, Feb. 22 in Kasich Hall at the Ohio Expo Center to be “Men: On Mission” while the Jubilee Year is being observed by the Catholic Church in 2025.
Mark Hartfiel focused on mission, Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers emphasized the importance of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and Dr. Ray Guarendi stressed the necessity of men being strong spiritual leaders in their marriages and families.
Bishop Earl Fernandes, who was in Rome at the time of the conference, addressed the men via a video message, asking them to carry out their mission to be disciples of the faith who bring others into a deeper relationship with Christ.
After Burke-Sivers’ morning talk, hundreds of men availed themselves to the Sacrament of Reconciliation at the midpoint of the conference. Two lines for confession stretched hundreds of feet on both sides of the hall as men patiently waited their turn for the opportunity to receive the sacrament from one of 51 priests.
Burke-Sivers, a longtime EWTN host, author and popular speaker, reminded men to protect the purity of their hearts through the powerful disciple of reconciliation.
“The heart is a place where your desire for God lives inside of you,” he said. “The heart is what we use to respond to God’s call.
“Deep devotion for God is in our hearts. God doesn’t care what you look like, how white or how black and how Hispanic or how Asian you are, or whether you’re Polish. God cares what kind of heart you have as a man for Him.”
He asked the men what God would see if He looked at their hearts.
“Can God see His reflection in your heart as a man?” the deacon questioned. “Can God see His image and likeness in you? That’s a serious question to ask yourself because if we are to be prepared for battle against this broken, confused culture, we need to have glorious, strong hearts for the work that God has called us to do as men — our beautiful mandate to serve, protect and defend our families, our Church and our culture.”
Burke-Sivers went on to break down the differences of mortal and venial sins while answering arguments that Protestants in particular pose about the need for the confession to a priest. He cited Biblical references in addition to the traditional teachings of the Church.
“Jesus gives specific and direct authority to forgive sins in the Holy Spirit and in His holy name,” the deacon said. “He gave that power and authority to the first priests. …
“How can the priest speak in the name of Christ to forgive sins? The only way that the priest can do that is if you receive specific and direct authority by God himself. When we hear the words of the priest, we are hearing the words of Jesus Christ forgiving sins through his priest because God wants to touch us with his own hands.”
At the hour of death, Burke-Sivers said, all of a unrepentant mortal sinner’s transgressions will be revealed in a fashion similar to the credits on a movie screen at the end of a film, but the repentant man’s sins will be forgotten in the eyes of God.
Burke-Sivers told the assembly to cast away their mistakes and give themselves a new heart and a new spirit.
“Our job is not just to exist but to live, truly live, and to thrive and to be an inspiration for the next generation of young men who are following our footsteps,” he said. “Strong men. Strong families. Strong Church.
“We must take back this culture, but it has to start with each and every man sitting in this room.”
The first talk in the morning session was delivered by Hartfiel, the vice president and national director of That Man is You men’s program that has grown from one parish in Houston to 950 parishes and 35,000 men in 46 states, including the Diocese of Columbus.
He’s currently involved in a That Man Is You four-part series, The Mysteries of the Rosary, and referenced the Sorrowful Mysteries in his conference presentation to encourage his listeners to carry out their duties as husband and fathers.
“Do we know our mission? Do we know our fight? Do we know how to fight that fight? Do we know that it’s a spiritual fight?” he asked.
Working in men’s ministry for 20 years, Hartfiel said he has seen the epic battle being waged for souls in modern times. He believes most men are willing to fight the fight but aren’t sure how to do so.
Hartfiel used the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, which follow Christ’s suffering and death, to define the battle, noting that Jesus had the power to disband the soldiers coming to take him away and to save himself but knew instead that the final battle would be won on Calvary.
Sharing a personal story about the rosary, Hartfiel said he was meditating on the third Sorrowful Mystery one day when he told the Lord while reflecting on Him being mocked, “Enough is enough. Make it stop. They can’t do this (to you).” And Hartfiel said he heard Jesus respond by saying, “You still don’t understand.
“And He said, ‘I’m not fighting against them, I’m fighting for them.’”
The lesson to be learned, Hartfiel said, is that “we’re not fighting against our brothers, we’re fighting for those most in need of God’s mercy.”
Hartfield pointed out that Christ is encouraging men to forgive those who persecute them, to love their enemies and to carry the cross in reparation for sin.
Christ’s self-sacrificial love serves as a model for men to come out of their comfort zones, to go on mission and be men of dignity and responsibility. Hartfiel implored the men to pay particular attention to their wives and family.
“Our great commissioning as men is to use this strength that God has given us not to lord over others but to serve,” he said. “That primary vocation for those of us who are married is our spouse and our families. …
“The family is placed at the center of the great struggle between good and evil, between life and death, between love and all that’s oppose to love.”
Pray every day by name for the members of your family, Hartfiel said.
“What are we doing spiritually every day to protect our bride, our children?” he asked. “We’re called to put food on the table, but we’re called provide that spiritual food and protection. That’s our number one mission.”
One way to do that, he suggested, is praying a daily rosary – with one decade each day for spouses.
Hartfiel concluded by asking men to reflect on three questions: What are your top three missions in life? How is God calling you personally to become a Terror of Demons on behalf of your family, the Church and society? And, finally, what spiritual weapon will you use to go about crushing the head of the serpent?
Guarendi, a clinical psychologist who lives in North Canton, is well known in the Catholic world as the host of the EWTN radio program “The Doctor is In,” offering guidance on parenting, marriage and family. The father of 10 has given countless talks and also hosts the EWTN television series “Living Right with Dr. Ray.”
He mixed humor with family anecdotes and sage advice during a 45-minute talk that at times resembled a stand-up comedy route.
Addressing the emasculation of men in society today, he said that during his 40 years as a practicing psychologist he has “watched manly authority and discipline become an ugly word, a word of psychological last resort, a word of unsophisticates.
“You older guys, you’re the last generation across the board, in my opinion, who knew who the parent was. We’ve got these young people so skittish now.”
Nowadays, fathers and parents have been told that they don’t have to discipline their children, he said, but “I am fond of telling folks discipline without love may be harsh; love without discipline is child abuse because, ultimately, your kids, your grandkids are going to be disciplined by a judge, a landlord, an Army sergeant, a police officer, an employer.”
Guarendi urged fathers to take their role as heads of the household seriously.
“I am hearing from more and more women (and) they are telling me that they are the authorities in their home,” he said. “They set the rules, they set the standards, the set the discipline.”
Mothers and grandmothers need support, he said, when a child talks back to them. “Next time you hear her walk into a battle with a kid or a grandkid, don’t sit in the BarcaLounger in the other room thinking to yourself, ‘I’ll close my eyes.’ (Instead), I’m going to see what she wants me to do about this.
“I can’t tell you how many women come to me and say, ‘I wish my husband would back me up or at least help out.’
“Gentlemen, you want your spouse to say, no matter how difficult you might be to live with, you want her to say he treats me better than he treats anybody else.”
Guarendi cautioned men to be aware of the distortion of gender roles (particularly those claiming gender is a social construct) that is increasingly impacting society.
“Research doesn’t support this. God doesn’t support it. Human history doesn’t support it,” he said. “Common thought is there are no biological differences between men and women, they’re just socialized into different roles. … But we’re wired different. …
“Psychological correctness is a quagmire, (but) you have the wisdom of the ages on your side. You have psychological research on your side. The narrative right now tells you that strong manhood is a pathology. It’s toxic. (But) you’ve got to be strong. I’m talking about a quiet strength.”
Acknowledging that fathers and mothers lament the mistakes they made while raising their children and the agony that some experience when a child who no longer practices the Catholic faith, Guarendi offered some consolation and practical wisdom.
“If you’re beating yourself up over your children having left the faith,” he said, “I’m going to take that off your shoulders.
“Answer these questions: Is there a God? Is Christ God? Was He sinless? Could He perform miracles? Did He have a prefect understanding of human nature? Could He get most people to follow Him?”
The men in the crowd answered no to the last question, and Guarendi responded, “So, we think we’re better than God?”
Guarendi’s talk was followed by a presentation on the rosary by Father Jonathan Wilson, pastor of Westerville St. Paul the Apostle Church and chaplain of the Catholic Men’s Ministry board of directors.
The conference concluded with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass with Father James Black, pastor of Dublin St. Brigid of Kildare Church, as the principal celebrant and Father Thomas Blau, OP of Columbus St. Patrick Priory as the homilist.
Afterward, a personal invitation was issued to the men to continue to go on mission by committing to veneration of the Blessed Mother and the saints, pursuing ongoing formation in the faith, deeper engagement in parish life and other Catholic institutions, uniting to the personal sufferings of Christ, becoming an ambassador of reconciliation and healing to others, and continuing concrete practices of love for neighbor.
St. Brigid of Kildare was designated as the host parish this year and men from the parish volunteered throughout the day at the conference.
Other parishes with the largest attendance included Powell St. Joan of Arc-Columbus St. Peter, Sunbury St. John Neumann, Westerville St. Paul, New Albany Church of the Resurrection, Delaware St. Mary, Columbus St. Patrick, Gahanna St. Matthew the Apostle, Hilliard St. Brendan the Navigator, Worthington St. Michael the Archangel, Columbus St. Catharine of Siena, Columbus Immaculate Conception, Pickerington St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Reynoldsburg St. Pius X, Columbus St. Cecilia, Marysville Our Lady of Lourdes, Columbus Our Lady of Peace, Grove City Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Columbus St. Andrew, Circleville St. Joseph and Buckeye Catholic.
Contingents from the Archdiocese of Cincinnati and the Dioceses of Cleveland and Toledo were also on hand.
The exhibitor hall included 52 faith organizations and six vendors.
Brad Pierron, the conference emcee, announced that next year’s event is scheduled for Saturday, Feb. 28.
