I had the opportunity to go on a silent weekend retreat during Lent and it was such a powerful time to rest with the Lord. I went with several good friends, and I must admit, silence was a bit of a challenge at meal time as we sat together, but the rest of the time it was a gift.
It is holy and healthy to go on retreat, and I enjoyed taking time away from my routines and responsibilities to rest and refresh in the sacraments, to listen, reflect and journal about the powerful talks we heard, pray before the Blessed Sacrament and walk and pray in nature.
In our busy and distracted world, it can be hard to process the circumstances and events of our lives even with daily prayer time. To have uninterrupted time to talk to Jesus about brought joy, freedom, self-awareness, understanding and peace.
Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) said, “God is there in these moments of rest and can give us in a single instant exactly what we need.”
That’s how I felt! An event that I’d taken to prayer before the retreat, without a sense of how to respond or resolve, came easily in prayer on retreat. Perhaps thinking more about things above opened my heart to the desires God has for me.
We had a lovely retreat leader who shared moving personal stories along with Ignatian spirituality talks that gave us much to think and pray about. One very interesting exercise was to identify books, television shows, movies, events or other entertainment that we enjoy and to delve into why and how these captivate us. What was it about the story, activity or the characters that moved our hearts?
One that I’ll share with you, that I thought was really funny at first, was that I really enjoy watching rodeo events in person and even on television. Why do I like rodeo? I didn’t grow up with it, I don’t know anyone who does it, and I just started watching in about three years ago when we started traveling out west.
As I prayed into what moves me about rodeo events, I sensed an appreciation for the joy in the struggle. I’m not a big risk-taking person, so I admire those who have the courage to ride a bucking bull or horse. I like the simplicity of the sport and the humility of the riders. They train hard and for many years and earn minimal money — especially compared with other professional athletes.
So how does any of this apply to my spiritual life? As I was journaling about rodeo, the word “courage” jumped out at me. My heart is moved by people who have courage to pursue something hard — whether it’s rodeo or going deeper with Jesus — it takes courage, grit, perseverance. We have to take a step, several actually, whether it’s a sport or in the spiritual life.
I was also struck by the trust they have in themselves that they can do this very hard thing while controlling an animal — with the very real risk of getting hurt. That’s another word I took to prayer — “trust.” Do I trust God, do I trust that He hears me and is with me always and desires the best for me? Well, yes, of course … but do I actually live that way in my day-to-day circumstances — in a heroic way like a rodeo rider? Such good food for prayer on a retreat.
You might think my rodeo example is silly, but on our journey this side of heaven, we are continually challenged to get to know ourselves, our real selves, and it can be surprising how God will reveal Himself to us. Will we take the time to walk with Him, talk with Him, rest with Him and grow with Him, with openness and curiosity?
My prayer for you, and for me, is that we carve out some time for rest so that we can learn more about ourselves through God as it will bless us and those around us.